2007 shouldn't get a pass mark, let alone any distinctions. If anything, last year deserves a mark-down against all prior averages.

Sure there were babies born, advances made in medical technology, Australia regained the Netball World Cup, peace treaties signed in Kraplakistan and free elections called. Even having Port Adelaide humiliated on a global stage was a positive. But let's just consider one moot point:

Freo didn't make the finals.

Now that patently dismal news alone is enough to make 2007 a complete write-off, but sadly the disasters didn't end there.

Okay, so an aforementioned highlight was seeing Port made into scrambled eggs in the Grand Final.. But shellacked by Geelong? Geelong isn't supposed to win Grand Finals. But win it they did, as well as clean up most of the remaining gongs and accolades.

Maybe seeing the Slime imploding on and off the field would've made things heaps better, but no. Yet again Freo were eclipsed by the mob up the road's on-field performance. Even being bundled out in straight sets, as funny as it was, is better than not making the finals at all (at least on paper).

As for the shenanigans of these yobbos off the field, initially there was good mileage to be had out of watching them clearly illustrate to the rest of the community one of the reasons why most Freo people won't mix blue and yellow even in a social setting. But after the sad loss of Chris Mainwaring, only a disaffected postal worker with sadistic and sociopathic tendencies could enjoy the goings on of messrs Cousins, Kerr, Chick and company. These guys seemed just too close to meeting an untimely end as well.

Speaking of which; weren't there some true greats lost in '07? Every December, newspapers roll out the obligatory obituaries and there are always a few we missed during the course of the year whilst out doing the gardening. (For me, it was a personal shock seeing that the reggae world lost Lucky Dube two months before, mon.) But the 2007 alumni seemed just so much sadder and closer to home than usual.

So here we find ourselves nearly a month into 2008 and already we're off to a shaky start with the news of Clinton Grybas. Bugger. The Spice Girls are coming too, I'm told.

Hopefully Howard Jones was right when he jingled that "Things Can Only Get Better". The idiot also warbled "No One is to Blame", but if he ever bumps into Woosha or David Parkin, he might change his tune. Either that or just give de reggae a go instead, mon.