Sorry I'm late.  Also an apology for anyone trying to read Weeks 2's rankings.  I just realised today that for some reason all the links on the site take you to Week 1. Barra must be guest hosting.

 

I'm caught out of state at the moment so I'll be brief.

 

1(1)  Bulldogs.  For those of you who missed last weeks rankings, this is a surprise to you.  It is well deserved at this point.  Lets hope they bring their "A" game over for their bye round this week.

 

2(2)  Cats.  Disposed of the toothless ferals all too easily after the Wobblers gave their customary bright start before a soft finish in a big game.  Steve Johnson and Paul Chapman are terrific players.

 

3(3) Saints.  Thanks boys.  now take a week off.

 

4(6)  Hawks.  Shook off a determined North side and head to Powder Blue HQ to give the smears a taste this week.  Birchall will be missed.

 

5(7)  Bombers.   Either Matty Knights is no longer calling the shots or I may have been wrong about him.  Obviously its the former.  For the love of GOD Matty, drop the trousers an inch or so.  I have HDTV now and can do without camel toe whilst eating dinner.

 

6(4)  Carltank.  Cod ordinary effort to lose that game.  It'll be a long time before Krusty the Chin misses as many as that again.  I'm still not sold on Gibbs.  For some reason I keep seeing Wayne Campbell similarities.  Heaps of stats with too little dirt on the jumper in earning them.  We'll see.

 

7(9)  Brissie.   No Power, no Black (very ineffectual versions anyway) and still a comfortable win.  Maybe Strawbs is not the goofy knob he appeared to be as a commentator.

 

8(5)  Angrywood.  Monday - "We'll fight, fight, fight and fight again..."   Tuesday -  "Oh.  OK, cheers now."  There is no bigger bell end in the game than Everywhere Eddie.  He is a classless, transparent panderer to the toothless masses and even they see through it now.

 

9(11)  Floodelaide.  Call me old fashioned but if you go in with an undermanned team you can still try to win a game without playig 12 backmen.  Hard to argue with the result but it is not what we Spartans call a glorious victory.

 

10(14)  Cashless Bogans.  Won against Melbourne but lost Burgoyne and probably another $135000 at the gate.  Why on EARTH are we trying to save this mob from financial ruin?  Send them to friggin NZ and beef up the Netball fixtures.  At least the team kit won't look so ridiculous if its shiny lycra and ends with a skirt instead of shorts.

 

11(10)  North.  It isn't convincing is it.  They just have the look and smell of an elephant about to fall over and die.  Credit to Simpson for taking the heat in that pathetic beat up last week.  Brickbat to Laidley & Brayshaw for letting him do it.  If Dolphin was Pres of the club the team statement would have read "Samantha Lane and all other mediots running with this can bite my shiny rubber chicken.  It was a stupid video that was about as offensive as it was funny.  To all those seeking to demonise a group of young men with feigned outrage - go **** yourselves, get a ****ing  life and **** off.  I'm campaigning for the next available CLub Prez job, I look forward to your support.

 

12(8)  Sydney.  Terrible performance in less than perfect conditions.  However, if you can keep Black and Power to 10 kicks each you should win against Brissie.

 

13(13)  Tigers.  Another top effort from the new Richo.  Another pathetic performance from everyone else.  You know the cruelest thing about draft busts like Tambling v Buddy?  It isn't Tamblings fault Wallace is a complete idiot and passed on Buddy becasue "we had Richo". Yet he's the poor kid that gets booed and laughed at.  If only people at RFC still cared enough to spit on coaches.  Here's one guy who might deserve it.

 

14(15)  Freo.  The plunger effect, as some carp gets pushed down, others must rise.  Haze finding his feet which is encouraging.  Broughton was good enough to have Ken Judge hate him which is a huge honour.  Hill looked better on a wing than he had in whatever else he has been doing until now.  Pav is a worry though.  Plonk him forward and give Taz the freedom of the middle.  It just might work.  Nothing to lose this week, par is a 97pt loss.

 

15(16)  Melbourne.  Still just terrible.  A frightening comment from the coach this week when he said that Melbourne fans should be patient and that he hadn't expected anything different at this stage of his tenure.  Really?  You hadn't expected to unearth a player or 2 by now?  You hadn't expected to put some steel in them?  Nothing?  Ouch.

 

16(12)  Welcome Back.  The last 2 weeks for the Fleagles reminds me of a saying my Grandpa used to put out there if I did something good and got carried away with myself.  "Sometimes a fart can smell like cinnamon, it doesn't mean your butt is a bakery" ^.   The only thing that surprised me about the result was the surprise it created.  Lil Johnnie is without doubt the easiest man to confuse in the coaching caper.  By the time he's worked out something isn't working, he's being handed his Boarding Pass for the flight home.

 

^ Just to be clear for you Lil John, last week you smelled like cinnamon.  This week showed you are still just an ***hole full of ****.