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Well its here again.  No more mock drafts, no more shave down controversy's, no more fretting over someone's pre-season hot spot.  Mercifully, finally, the real stuff is here...well almost.

As hard as the off-season is, I'm inclined to think that the hardest and longest part of the non-footy season is the period between the NAB Farce and the real season.  Absolutely terrifying in its drawn-outedness.

Anyway, enough of that.  After no deliberation at all I have decided to subject you too the Power Rankings again this season.  In what looks to be an even season, we could have plenty of surprises, or none at all.

A quick recap of the rules.  This is not the ladder and games won and percentage have only a part to play in the rankings.  Also relevant are the teams played in the wins and losses, the nature of those results, injuries and other off field stuff.

 It all sounds a bit complicated but its not.  This is my view on how each team ranks, according to the others, in all things football.  Last years final spot is the starting spot and then the pre-season and drafting has been factored in...here we go.

 

1. Geelong - Hard to have last year's runners-up in the top spot but they have less injury issues, more form and a whole lot of attitude going in to rd 1.  It looks to me that this year the Cats are going to play each game with their middle finger stuck square in the face of the opposition.  I wouldn't want to be playing them at the Cattery early on.

 

2.  Hawks - A bit of a so-so pre-season but you can't drop them lower than 2 yet.  Well you could but I'm the one ranking.  It'll be interesting to see if they have added any strings to the zoning palaver that has all of us so entertained.  I'm expecting them to get a Rd 1 pantsing but we'll see.

 

There really is a nice little gap here already isn't there...

 

3.  Collingwood - the league's most heavily subsidised squad has had a strong run pre-season.  The only injury worry they have is Arocca which actually makes them better.  I agree they have 1 too many Cloke's, a surplus of floppy poonces in the ruck and no backmen but they are up an about early.  The easy draw will have them getting over the NAB GF quicker than we'd hope.  The best we can hope for is another early finals flop and Eddie/Mickie quinella in the  sackings come years end.

 

4.   St Kilda - A bit of a crunch year for many in this team, perhaps including the Coach.  If they go backwards I'd give Lyon the rebuild job as well, as long as he signed a affidavit saying he'd dispense with the dreary style they play.

 

5.  Western Bulldogs - Ended last year well.  Did as well and as badly as anyone else in the draft/trading but then  lost to Essendon in NAB 1 when it looked like they cared.  That is a little worrying.  A finish anywhere in between 3rd and 13th wouldn't shock me.

 

6.  Richmond - Wallace's last year or the 1st year of his next 5 year contract.  I hope they get off to a flyer, sign him to the extension, then toilet up the rest of the way.  They deserve each other.  Cousins will have a good year picking up 15 meaningless possessions and 7 that count each week.

 

7.  Carlton - "They Know We're Coming"...and we couldn't be less interested.  Shut the **** up you clowns.  You've done nothing yet.  You've done nothing for over 10 years.  DO something then maybe you'll be relevant again.  For all the poaching and preening, this "team" is still 4 question marks in the guts and a big sad clown up front.

 

8.  Adelaide - Apparently they have a very good bunch of kids.  I really don't give a stuff to be honest.  The only job these guys have is pounding Port and then getting out of everyone else's way.  Here's hoping Trent Potential has a good comeback year.

 

9.  Fremantle -  Already the draft looks good.  Hill has been well documented.  Suban looks promising.  Clarke better than expected and we haven't even touched on any Mike's yet.  I'm all for Taz down back, I'd just like to see Grover and Luke next to him as well.  We've kicked some decent scores in the pre-season without either Pav or Taz up front.  The spread in our goal kickers has been very interesting indeed.

 

10.  North Melbourne - I've been saying it for 3 years now, maybe more.  "This year they will drop down the ladder".  Eventually I'll be right.  What I am sure of is that in 5 years, James Brayshaw will be seen as the clown who sentenced this club to death with his idiotic refusal to head north.

 

11.  Brisbane - In another blog I wrote that these guys "played fierce, flowing footy and could once again become a dominant force.  Or they could be a bunch of has-beens and kids being lead to the cellar by a Bloodnut.  Tough call to make at this stage."  Its looking like the latter to me but who knows for sure.

 

12.  Essendon - They may have lucked upon the best recycled player for the year in Skipworth.  Unfortunately for him he'll make no difference to anything but his own career.  This spine has no head and is rotting with age.

 

13.  Sydney - If you're a big fat barstud like myself or likely guy smiley, you've sat on a chair, felt it weaken, heard a snap and ended up on your butt.  Last year Sydney sat on the chair, felt it weaken and heard it snap...

 

14.  Port Adelaide - Chocko coached a GF team all the way to the bottom 4 last year.  Chocko didn't get an extension.  Chocko got rolled on the Captaincy.  Chocko has said he wants to coach again next year.   Chocko's heard nothing.  Bye Bye Chocko.  Its hard to know which group deserves a cash hand out less, the AIG Executives or the Pap Smears flakeball club.

 

15.  Melbourne - They've re-defined rabble in recent years, a true sporting horror story.  This year will likely be no different.  They do have last years #1 draft pick in the sheds but we won't see him much this year.  They do have  Barrassi back as #1 ticket holder, but how long til he gets punched up by a girl again?  They do have Jim Stynes as President...nope thats just as bad as it gets really.  Unless...

 

16.  Faecal Throwers - The current leader doesn't want the job.  The previous leader is now at Carlton, the Spiritual Leader and about 5000 members are at Richmond.  The Boardroom leader makes Simon Crean look like General Patton.  The Admin Leader makes Carl Williams look like Tim Costello.  The coaching leader makes Daffy Duck look like SunTzu.  This is where "They Know We're Coming" belongs, its becasue we get a whiff of the stench from 15kms away.  Pack up and **** off you clowns.