As such, I thought it was time to push out the new AFL Power Rankings that takes in to account the pre-season stuff. As mentioned in this blog, the rules are simple-ish. It's not where they'll finish, it's how well they're going now.
The number in brackets is what they were ranked last time. So here we go...
No, wait. 1 quick gripe. I am reeling at the moment from the fact that a filthy eagle has moved in next door. Not a supporter, an actual dirty bird. He's not one of the Underbelly crew but he gets a game and, frankly, I don't know what to do. This is a good suburb, I was here first, I have a young daughter. Although his nose is clean as far as we know, how long before I'm on the news giving an eye-witness account of whatever it is he does to get on the news.
I really am at a loss. Any suggestions would be welcomed, please post them on the main board. On to the rankings...
1. Geelong (1). I can't see a single reason why they should move from the top rung just yet. Even when they get in pub fights they come out smelling like roses.
2. St Kilda (4). They probably took it more seriously than anyone else, but they did look pretty good at times. Those times did NOT include whenever M. Gardiner kicked the footy. Sheesh, we think Kepler is awkward. This guy kicking is exactly what a 2 legged camel dancing on wet plastic would look like, if that camel was also on drugs...moving on.
3. Port (6). They still stink, but they show some signs of stinking less than I thought. Those of you who have Foxtel will have seen the Port membership ad and probably set yourself on fire like I did. For those who haven't, it's as good a reason as any to avoid getting Fox. It's Chad, topless, apparently out-running his shadow. Running FROM his shadow I could have got with. Anyway, it comes on without warning so be prepared.
4. Wet Boast (7). Had to laugh at Woossie pumping up young Kennedy's tyres the other day. "Tough, always eyes on the ball". PLEASE. Have a squiz at the NAB Derby. This guy ducked his head more than Sandilands in a Hobbit's house. He's 5 kinds of soft. At least they replaced Doogs nice and quick.
5. Hawks (3). Injuries and suspensions and even a retirement now. They won't miss Jacobs too much but they will miss the other boys early on. Still look set for a decent season.
6. Freo (4). Firstly, Hase...bugger. On the other hand, Schammer...how good is he looking? A few concerns but nothing too major. Still in it when the whips start cracking.
7. Adelaide (12). A big rise but they have looked a lot better than I thought they would. Then again, so did the Blues a couple of times and look how that worked out.
8. Collingwood (2). Mick has got straight in to the sooking business and they still haven't done much. Flogged about every week, but they'll have plenty of rest now they don't have to travel anymore. That's right, the real season has started.
9. Brisbane (8). Losing to Essendon was a bit of a surprise, but they will still be dangerous.
10. North (14). I still can't believe they went to a Lionel Ritchie concert and got in a blue. I also can't believe how good that Hamish kiddie is.
11. Essendon (15). Another team giving their supporters (probably) false hope with some good stuff in the garbage games. Flinchy McPhee & Puffy McFloppy (Lloyd) are still amongst the most funny and annoying sportsmen of all time.
12. Synnie (10). I'm with Roosy. Anyone who bets on the pre-season should call up Mr. God or whoever and say "Hey, you know what, I really don't deserve this, here's the keys to my life, give my time to someone with a fighting chance of being useful".
13. Carlton (12). Judy apparently looked good. In news just in - everyone else still sucks. By the by, is Tony Liberatore saying "I see myself as a pretty honest bloke" about the same as Wayne Carey saying "I like to think I respect women"?
14. Western Bulldogs (13). Eeehhhh...who cares.
15. Melbourne (9). Big Drop. Too early to admit I was completely wrong about them, but they are working hard at being just as terrible as they were. I'm clinging to an idea that they'll rebound. But remember this, I am an idiot.
16. Richmond (16). It's just wonderful isn't it. Good old Leatherface has the corpse of Kevin Sheedy prowling in ever decreasing circles. It's nice when Buddha shows us he's watching and allows Karma to publicly slap someone around.
See you next time.