Well, I went to my first away derby last year.

Never had so much fun (would have been different if we had lost, but I knew I was safe.... ha-ha)

I was in my mate's brothers seat, and surrounded by the ooftits faithful. I have never enjoyed being hated so much in my entire life!

i dont know what was better, the 11y/o little girl in front who kept on turning around when i would call out "hilly you legend" or the old grandma (knitting needles and all) who would try and shout over the top of me.

when they all started leaving 10min before the end I just ushered them out of their seats with " maybe in another 3 years!", "what your going NOW? there are still 10 minutes left!" and my favourte "see you next year"

i nearly got belted by one guy as he was leaving and i ws hanging carp on him.

My friend acted like he didn’t know me.

1) don't engage an eagles supporter in an argument about the better team, even after the dockers romp in. after a few minutes of discussion and even a glimmer of brain cells, the 'three premierships' shutters will go up.

2) place your bets before the game, at an outside TAB. the subi oval TAB is chockers with eagles supporters doing their bit for the state by generously donating money to the bookies.

3) don't, whatever you do, look at quenten lynch's face. having a position behind the goals is advantageous, as he's unlikely to get a sight of them all day.

I feel a bit dirty, but I have been to my fair share of away games.
I remember sitting amongst a bunch of elderly eagles fans, we went on to win the game. Once the game finished I went to shake the hand of the elderly gent next to me and said "better luck next time"...he then told me to F-off and walked away...I felt so cheap and used!! (but secretly loved it!)

Our first derby win was an away game and I was lucky enough to be there for that. I've been to quite a few derby wins, actually, away included.

Worthwhile tactics include abusing their players by name, once they realise who you're abusing it burns them no end to realise they'd joined in on the act. Laugh and point whenever the big screen shows their coaches box and genuflect if it shows ours. Start a "I am not Ben Cous-INS" cha cha line whenever you feel like doing so and a new one I haven't had a chance to try myself yet is, in answer to the inevitable cries of " man up" and " just kick it" start yelling "zone up" or "go the zone, you idiot". That oughtta f* em around no end.

I have been to a few away Derbies, including the glorious Pantsing of the Ooftits in 2006.

Be prepared for "Bizarro Subi". It's like you are in a parallel universe where Subiaco Oval is exactly the same structurally, but far less cool. There is this Orwellian aspect to it all: from the lame "S-G-I-O: Go Eagles Go!" chant on the PA at the quarter time breaks, to the nauseating MC'ing (from the likes of the insufferable Karl Langdon) to the drone-like quality of the Eagles supporters.

And where, oh where, are the inflatable anchors??

Still, expect a quiet crowd once the Docker's get on top, which should be early. Hopefully there will be some Dockers supporters nearby to help you enjoy the spectacle and give some curry to the Slime and their misguided followers.

Ultimately, if you are an away virgin you will find your first time a bit freaky but worth it! Enjoy!

It'll be horrible. Sorry. Just ask people who work at Subi what it's like. They'll all tell you the crowd is great.

Every second week.

It depends a lot on where you are sitting, I've been to lots of away derbies and there is a vast difference between sitting amongst the purple behind the city goals, blocks 140-141 etc or sitting amongst the feral enemy.
I usually just stick with the purple, however probably my most memorable derby was the 2006 one where I was behind our interchange bench amongst a fair few purple people but the row directly behind me was all the other mob.
Directly behind me there was a woman probably in her late 40's with a couple of teenage daughters/friends, well when Carr flattened Kerr with a fair but very solid hip n shoulder and he struggled to get up, that foul mouthed bit woman started up with the "kn dirty dockers can't play so resort to fighting etc"
I was with my daughter so asked her politely if she could keep the language down and suggested she watch the replay of the incident as it was all above board.
Well she was in my ear the whole game and kept saying enjoy it while you can and make sure to stay till the end because the games not over yet, WC are here to play football and will win in the end blah blah blah.
She called the Wiz all sorts of names (that I can't repeat here) and carried on about his arms to the heavens goal celebrations.
I pretty much remained quiet and enjoyed the game but when Jeff kicked the one in the last quarter that pretty much put it beyond doubt I jumped to my feet and slowly turned around whilst raising my arms to the heavens.
I can still see the look on her face and hear the language spewing out as she and her friends got up and walked out whilst all the time I was reminding her that the game wasn't over yet.
Im in block 141 again this time and quite a few rows back, Im not sure where the slime seats start but am hoping it is the row directly behind me.

Great story, Alvin, and one I'm sure we've all experienced versions of, especially when it came to their comments on Jeff.

I think their general lack of public decorum can only be described as Buswellian.

So, stick it up 'em tomorrow ... and I reckon your daughter should give 'em a serve as well.

Derby Virgin, it is sensational to be there The SGIO chant is something you have to experience to believe..UGH!!

The comradeship, banter, wry smiles and raised eyebrow communication between the purple faithful is joyful.

The anonymous Freo supporter who makes a timely loud remark which seems to go over the Weagles supporter's head will have you choking on your drink at their audacity.

Beware of foul mouthed children whose parents let them continuously spout out abusive remarks about our players. Our standard response when we have had a gut full is 'look at the scoreboard' after a few of my best school teacher derisive looks.

ENJOY it all. I know I will.

Dont forget a pin just in case they have those yellow inflatable things..........

yellow inflatable things allison? thats the best defensive strategy they have!

the thing i've noticed at away derbies (thankfully protected by sitting amongst the purple army behind the goals at the city end) is how eagles fans criticise how we support the team. apparently they're strategy involves swearing at the other team and.... well, swearing at the other team. oh and chanting whatever the PA tells them to.