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The Aussie season over and Australia has humiliated the Irish in the mongrel rules. It seems the blokes at the AFL are always keen for the code to spread from it's traditional homes. They've been preaching to (and throwing money at) the northern states for years now and won them 4 Premierships. So where will the next money pit be?

With a three premierships and three Brownlow medallist, there's not much more you could do in Brisbane to sell them the game. If they don't like It by now they never will. Nick Davis is still running around holding the Premiership Cup aloft in Sydney so the New South Welsh persons ar taken car of. Which means the AFL must be looking around for a new territory to conquer and with most of Australia sorted out their eyes will once again be looking overseas. As always. dockerland have the perfect solution.

When looking for a new country to market the game it's more a process of elimination than anything. For starters you want to rule out your huge countries like India and China - if they can overcome their height problems they've got so many people that they are bound to beat us at some point - and that's a big no-no. Americans aren't going to pay a game without tights, padding and helmets so they'd be a waste of time and the Canadians won't do it unless the Americans have a go first. Then there are your soccer mad countries like Italy and the Poms (well most of the world really) who are too busy chanting and setting things on fire for long enough to look at you. A game where you use your hands is also a draw back because they'd have to take theirs off their teammate's bum.

Draw a line through Africa. When Shane Crawford jumps off the truck in Ethiopia with a few thousand dollars worth of footy equipment, even he might get the picture that they would have preferred him to bring a few meat pies and the Melbourne weather with him. Our South African mates seem to enjoy similar sports to us but can we trust them not to over indulge in the Kingstons again and have to find a second use for their biscuit tins? Then their would be the problem of planes crashing everywhere as they tried to fake their own deaths.

The Irish are halfway there with their local brand of football and some people will get the idea that we could convert them to our own game. A few years back some Englishmen got the idea that they could convert the Catholics in Ireland over to one of the similar Lutheran churches but that's not going all that well. As a Catholic in Australia I can tell you you've got a better chance of getting me over to the Popeless, wafferless, Good Friday carnivores than convince me to watch a game of football using a round ball. There's a fair chance the average Irishman would have similar sentiments to his own game.

There is only really one country that is ripe for the taking - Sweden. Any country who has people who will paint their faces to go to the tennis is just crying out for a decent sport to support. Imagine their excitement when they see an Australian Rules ruckman smash the ball from the ball up and they find out that it's not the end of the game. How excited will they get if they don't have someone shooshing them while before the start of the game. They'll become delirious when they are actually allowed to point out the blokes in white are a pack of over paid wieners who need a good belting. The poor Swedes are desperate to yell and cheer and dress up like freaks, why not let them do it while watching the greatest sport in the world.

While the benefits to the Swedes will be obvious, it's not one way street. For starters the quality and quantity of streakers would be the big benefit to our own competition. More importantly though, 16 clubs in a country the size of Australia doesn't seem sustainable so it would make sense to relocate one of the local clubs. The Victorian's get very touchy about this kind of the thing so the best bet would be to leave them alone. The key will be finding a club close to the Swedes and one which shares a similarity. A club that shared the proud colours of the Swedish flag and were currently based somewhere on the Western Coast of Australia would be ideal. Who knows, Yonny Worsfold might even get one up on Chris Connolly and find himself a sauna sponsorship.