News_Archives
Dockerland Budget: Fremantle v Geelong
To save people forking over their hard earned money to the AFL in exchange for a magazine that gets bigger every week, making it harder to get to the only part you actually want - the names of the players, we've introduced the Dockerland Budget.
Ballantyne And the Bionic Gob
Look out Geelong! Hayden Ballantyne is back to run the Cats amok once again but this time he’s got a big arse bit of metal in his jaw, making him impervious to their traditional tactic of smacking him in the head. The Sandover Medallist was mysteriously hit in the head last week, resulting in a fractured gob but has been patched up and will run out for his captain’s 300 game. Luke McPharlin doesn't hold Pavlich in such high regard and has forgone radical temporary re-constructive of his leg that would have seen him able to hobble through the banner with Pav. Zac Dawson will play but it’s hard to say whether that’s out of respect for Pav or just because he’s got nothing else to do on a Saturday night. Alex Silvagni has managed to hold onto his spot in the presence of Dawson but Clancee Pearce and Hayden Crozier have been given the heave ho, with Tommy Sheridan rotated in.
You Be Pav's Coach: Fremantle v Geelong
Ross Lyon has his sights set on the flag this year but he's the sort of bloke who loves to get feedback from the general public, good or bad. So if you really want to be a true supporter of the club, then make sure you shout stuff out to him at the ground and give him some pointers on how to get this coaching caper done. But before you do your duty as a member and hurl advice in the direction of professional coaching staff, make sure you know what you're talking about or they might just right you off as a nutjob and miss out on some choice advice. Work the board, move the magnets around and when you think you've got it sussed, start practising yelling "Hey Ross! Ross! Put Sandilands in the goal square for a rest!"
Paul Duffield |
Zac Dawson |
Lee Spurr |
Steven Motlop |
Tom Hawkins |
Jordan Murdoch |
Danyle Pearce |
Michael Johnson |
Nick Suban |
Steve Johnson |
Hamish McIntosh |
Travis Varcoe |
Stephen Hill |
Ryan Crowley |
Cameron Sutcliffe |
James Kelly |
Joel Selwood |
Mitch Duncan |
Nat Fyfe |
Matthew Pavlich |
Michael Barlow |
Cameron Guthrie |
Jared Rivers |
Corey Enright |
Chris Mayne |
Zac Clarke |
Hayden Ballantyne |
Harry Taylor |
Tom Lonergan |
Andrew Mackie |
Aaron Sandilands |
Dawson Simpson |
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Tendai Mzungu |
Jimmy Bartel |
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David Mundy |
George Horlin-Smith |
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Lachie Neale |
Alex Silvagni |
Jed Bews |
Tommy Sheridan |
Matt de Boer |
Mark Blicavs |
Garrick Ibbotson |
Matt Taberner |
Taylor Hunt |
Clancee Pearce |
Jarrad Jansen |
Jackson Sheringham |
Josh Walker |
Jordan Schroder |
Stats CLoud: Port Adelaide v Fremantle
Numbers...you can't trust them. The Romans knew what numbers were up to and wouldn't have a bar of them. You can put your faith in a nice sturdy X but a 10, it's shifty. The only thing more iffy than a number is a statistic, they'll cut you open and rob you of your kidneys before you can say "aren't you supposed to drug me and put in a bath of ice first?". Unfortunately we're hooked on numbers though, we need them to work out how many kicks David Mundy had this week...and probably some other stuff too. The Dockerland Labs spent the summer pondering the problem and eventually, when the cricket was over, the fridge was empty and the clicker broke in everyone's pen, they came up with a solution - the stats cloud. A quick glance and you'll pretty much know everything about a game of football that there was to know, at least all the boring bits about it. The bigger the player's name, the more kicks, or marks, or tackles he had compared to his teammates.Â