To save people forking over their hard earned money to the AFL in exchange for a magazine that gets bigger every week, making it harder to get to the only part you actually want - the names of the players, we've introduced the Dockerland Budget.
Ross Lyon has his sights set on the flag this year but he's the sort of bloke who loves to get feedback from the general public, good or bad. So if you really want to be a true supporter of the club, then make sure you shout stuff out to him at the ground and give him some pointers on how to get this coaching caper done. But before you do your duty as a member and hurl advice in the direction of professional coaching staff, make sure you know what you're talking about or they might just right you off as a nutjob and miss out on some choice advice. Work the board, move the magnets around and when you think you've got it sussed, start practising yelling "Hey Ross! Ross! Put Sandilands in the goal square for a rest!"
Jared Rivers |
Tom Lonergan |
Corey Enright |
Zac Clarke |
Matthew Pavlich |
Hayden Ballantyne |
Andrew Mackie |
Harry Taylor |
Cameron Guthrie |
Nat Fyfe |
Chris Mayne |
Michael Barlow |
Mathew Stokes |
Joel Selwood |
Travis Varcoe |
Stephen Hill |
Ryan Crowley |
Cameron Sutcliffe |
Steven Motlop |
Shane Kersten |
Steve Johnson |
Michael Johnson |
Luke McPharlin |
Danyle Pearce |
Jimmy Bartel |
Tom Hawkins |
Allen Christensen |
Paul Duffield |
Zac Dawson |
Lee Spurr |
Hamish McIntosh |
Aaron Sandilands |
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Josh Caddy |
David Mundy |
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James Kelly |
Nick Suban |
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Mark Blicavs |
Mitch Duncan |
Lachie Neale |
George Horlin-Smith |
Jordan Murdoch |
Matt de Boer |
Jed Bews |
Dawson Simpson |
Hayden Crozier |
Billie Smedts |
Matt Taberner |
Max Duffy |
Michael Walters |
Alex Silvagni |
Numbers...you can't trust them. The Romans knew what numbers were up to and wouldn't have a bar of them. You can put your faith in a nice sturdy X but a 10, it's shifty. The only thing more iffy than a number is a statistic, they'll cut you open and rob you of your kidneys before you can say "aren't you supposed to drug me and put in a bath of ice first?". Unfortunately we're hooked on numbers though, we need them to work out how many kicks David Mundy had this week...and probably some other stuff too. The Dockerland Labs spent the summer pondering the problem and eventually, when the cricket was over, the fridge was empty and the clicker broke in everyone's pen, they came up with a solution - the stats cloud. A quick glance and you'll pretty much know everything about a game of football that there was to know, at least all the boring bits about it. The bigger the player's name, the more kicks, or marks, or tackles he had compared to his teammates.Â
In a night where even the moon seemed to be enjoying itself, Fremantle have stormed home with a thrilling come from behind victory over a gallant, but ultimately sad and pathetic, Carlton. The Dockers started the night keen to win back the love of their supporters after the St Kilda debacle (technically, from a historical perspective that should be ‘the St Kilda debacle [vi]’), refusing to even change jumpers since their loss against the Saints until they had proved themselves. It was a tidy start, although they were still a bit loose down back (which is never a good look when you’re wearing white pants) but Fremantle looked like their old selves again. As you’d expect from Ross Lyon, hey didn’t feel the need to blow Carlton away and seemed intent on accumulating a good lead...that is until they stopped accumulating lead and went for the unusual tactic of standing around scratching their arses - known in football circles as doing a Matthew Carr. Things started to get very shaky towards the end of the third quarter as Freo fell - what’s known in football circles as - behind and the crowd started to turn. They fought back though, took the lead, lost the lead and then Lachie Neale took a shot on goals in the final seconds of the game from what he’s now describing as 89 metres out into a stiff breeze. The goal was a beauty and Fremantle won by 5 points.