West Coast v Fremantle Never before have so many people, so free of prostate cancer been assembled in the one place. As an Eagles' home game Subiaco Oval was chockablock with the usual blend of chardonnay sipping nobs, toothless old ladies and northern suburbs sheeple. Usually content to flick through the Record to unsuccessfully try and remember which numbers their favorite players wear, the West Coast supporters' pre-grame ritual was rudely interrupted when some Green Peace activists showed up. Someone had reported that a specimen of the very rare Slavic Blowfish was caught in an oil spill, as it turned out it was just Glen Jakovich covered in a disturbingly large quantity of baby oil. Being a big event, he and Michael Gardiner were obviously very keen to be as shiny and slippery as possible. After explaining the mix-up, they cleared the greenies out and got stuck into the game. Fremantle had the first crack at the footy and Matthew Pavlich silenced the crowd with a thumping kick down the boundary line to Troy Cook. As Drew Banfield reached over Cookie's head and got a fist to the ball the crowd erupted, just 30 seconds in and the ball had already been forced over the boundary line - this was going to be a big night for West Coast supporters. As the umpire returned the ball to play, Dean Cox decided he wanted to play the monkey to Aaron Sandilands's barrel and he hung on to the big fella for dear life. After the umpire eventually conceded he had to pay a free, Sandilands gave it off to Headland who tried to pick out Medhurst but, in all the excitement, over shot the kick and the ball was knocked out of bounds - the crowd erupted. The other mob were lucky enough to get the ball out of the throw in this time and worked it up the ground. As Robbie Haddrill put the clamps on the Eagles forwards he shuffled the ball out of bounds - the crowd went mad. But just as quickly they were silenced as the disappointment hit, Haddrill had kicked it out on the full and they wouldn't get to see another throw in. Even the West Coast players seemed disappointed and Cox's half hearted kick went straight into Robbie Haddrill who was standing the mark. The ball dribbled out of bounds and the crowd erupted once again. With the crowd in a frenzy the players started to gee up a bit and the footy stayed inside the white lines. Both sides had a couple of warm up shots on goals before Drew Banfield made the fatal mistake of trying to tackling Jeff Farmer before he took possession of the ball. Despite being sixty metres out and right on the boundary, the umpire had a fair idea that The Wiz wasn't going to pass the ball off so he went about setting the angle, putting Farmer halfway down the players race behind what seemed to be some of the West Coast players gear. If he's anything Jeff Farmer, he's ambitious. He wasn't fazed by the distance or the angle or the bags he'd have to run around. He held the ball askew, took a couple of steps forward and unloaded with the torie. It was a shocker, it was headed for the opposite point post. But wait a minute, what's this, Jeff had produced the banana torp. It swung back around and flew straight over the goal umpires head for a goal. The Dockers were away. Fremantle were straight out of the centre again and this time there was no boundary umpire to stop them. Medhurst was having a run in the middle and he kicked long to the forward line to the exact spot he would have been in had he not been in the midfield. As it was, there was no one covering his spot and the ball spilled to ground. Troy Longmuir got to it and as Glass tried to feel him up, Tlo squeezed the ball out. McManus was there to help and a quick flick out to The Wiz saw him snap his second goal, blow a kiss to the crowd and then take a much deserved bow. The Eagles made the move out of the middle this time but Peter Matera's brother Phil was outclassed by Roger Hayden and let his frustration show. Hayden got a free and then a fifty and Fremantle were back on the attack. As the ball came into the forward line a young West Coast player, who probably didn't know any better, got in Paul Hasleby's way. Hasleby knocked him clean out, picked up the ball and chipped it over to Troy Simmonds. Simmonds went back and kicked the goal, giving the Eagles trainers plenty of time to roll McDougall off the ground. Freo were looking ominous, 8 minutes gone on the lock and they were already out to a 3 goal lead. But this was a Derby after all and as the crowd settled down from another boundary throw in near the West Coast goals, burrrp went the umpires whistle and back went his arm. Sandilands had made the mistake of looking cockeyed at Cox and been penalised for holding. The irony of the Eagles being rewarded because the other team was holding Cox was not lost on the small but vocal bunch of Fremantle supporters. Cox kicked the goal and the Eagles were on the board. The Dockers didn't take long to be back in their forward 50 and another shot on goals to Jeff Farmer must have had West Coast supporters flashing back to Clive's magnificent 7 in 2000. But the kick was far too easy for Jeff and he sprayed it. It was a costly mistake and the Eagles ran the ball down the ground (hugging the boundary of course). Daniel Kerr brought the ball back into the centre before chipping short to the very oily Michael Gardiner. Polak tried his best to spoil Gardiner but his arm just slipped straight past him. Somehow Gardiner had managed to keep his hands oil free though and he took the mark and kicked the goal. As the ball was being run back to the centre there was a bit of pushing and shoving, nothing more than a bit of jumper pulling really. Somewhere along the way jumper pulling became a serious offence though and in a Matthew Lloyd style farce, the umpire awarded a second kick in front of goals to the Eagles. It went to McDougall who dobbed the goal to level the scores and bring the good name of Australian Rules Football into disrepute. Suddenly the Dockers lead was gone. All eyes looked to The Wiz to see if he could produce something special once more. As the umpire did his job and actually bounced the ball to restart play, Fremantle pounced. They rushed the ball forward and into what was becoming known as the Jeff zone. Jeff ran onto the ball and, sensing Banfield preparing to hit him with a pre-emptive tackle he arched his back and paddled the ball forward. That's when disaster struck. In an event that has small forwards all over the country fearing for their lives, Jeff over played the back arch and nearly snapped himself in two. His head flung back as he hit the ground and he was down. He was gingerly loaded onto the little ambulance and driven to the rooms where he was to see out the rest of the game but would live to tell the tale. Seeing one of the leaders of the club driven off in a tiny car must have struck a cord in the Dockers players and they fired up. Matthew Pavlich took the ball out of the ruck and bombed it long into the forward line. There were a pack of forwards keen to avenge their mate but it was the twinkle toes of Justin Longmuir who took the honors. He picked up the ball, spun around and snapped the Dockers back into the lead. It was a short lived lead though and as the clock kicked down a series of very suspect free kicks led to Ashley Sampi taking a mark in the goal square. He kicked the goal and the teams went into the first break on 26 points each. The second quarter got underway in disappointing but predictable style. Gardiner was given a free kick for falling over in front of a Fremantle player and the resulting goal had the Dockers trailing for the first time since the opening few seconds of the match. As the Dockers piled on the points they crept ever closer to the Eagles before the pressure finally got to West Coast and Wirrpuda cracked. In an attempt to get the crowd back in the game he tried to take the ball over he boundary line but instead put it into Row Q on the full. Tlo took the kick, he put it to the hot spot (where his brother was) but it was too hot for anyone to take a clean grab. As it was tapped free, a sprightly young rover by the name of Sandilands came flying past the pack, grabbed the ball and kicked the goal. Content with his stint as crumbing forward, the big fella went back to his normal duties in the ruck. He got Fremantle first use of the footy and then as the West Coast blankets slowed the game down in Freo's forward line he made his way into attack. A quick tap down to Paul Hasleby was all it took to get the wheels moving and like a Tuesday night training run he whipped out handpass to Carr, Carr to Medhurst and Medhurst finished off with a goal. The only one who raised a sweat was the guy who had to wave the giant pompoms behind the goals. The Dockers had stretched their lead back out to 8 points but it the game was taking on a pantomime like state. Faster than you could yell "he's behind you", the umpire had blown his whistle and given Peter Matera's little brother a free kick in front of goals. Peter's brother hadn't looked like getting a kick and he wasn't going to look this gift horse anywhere near the front half. He went back, kicked his goal and drew his side within a kick. As the margin tightened up, so did the game. Fremantle's tackling was ferocious. On one occasion the umpire was a bit late with the whistle and the West Coast trainers called for the jaws of life to get Ben Cousins out of Troy Cook's grip (not that Benny was complaining). The hard tactics proved to be their undoing though when Shaun McManus tried to clean up Chris Judd. McManus ran straight through him but Matthew Carr was tagging Judd so closely he acted as a shock absorber. Carr went down, McManus went down and Judd buggered off in the other direction. He got it off to Cousins who put on his sailor dance as he ran towards goals before kicking to the lead of Cox. Cox marked, kicked the goal and the Eagles went into half time with a baffling 4 point lead. With home finals and second chances on the line, the third quarter truly was going to have a big outcome on both sides Premiership chances. The Eagles boys had obviously spent the break re-applying baby oil to themselves (or possibly each other) while the Fremantle players had been getting hyped up on cordial and oranges. Much to the crowd's delight, an over excited Peter Bell took the first kick out of the middle and put it out of bounds on the full. West Coast tried to go forward but couldn't get past the twin towers of Polak and Haddrill. As Fremantle rebounded into attack, circumstances eerily mimicked those of the first quarter and this time Paul Medhurst found himself receiving a free kick and being sent down the players race, behind the West Coast players gear to take it. Not confident in his ability to produce the banana torp, Medhurst opted for the old favorite - the drop punt. It makes you wonder if Jeff Farmer was just showboating because Medhurst's kick was a beauty, straight through the middle, with no deviation it took the Dockers back into the lead. The deja vu continued for Fremantle as they moved the ball quickly from the centre and Peter Bell drilled a pass onto the chest of Paul Medhurst. Medhurst lined up from 35 metres out and struggled to sneak it through for a point. Just as had happened when Farmer missed his gimme, the Eagles took their chance with the ball, ran it up the other end and took the lead with a goal to Peter's little brother. The crowd lifted (as per instructed by the designated cheer persons), the pressure was on and mistakes were going to be made. Justin Longmuir had beaten all comers and marked the footy 40 metres out on a bit of an angle. Thinking back to the 7 points he kicked during his last run at Subiaco Oval he would have had plenty of ideas on what not to do but there are at least 8 ways to kick a ball wrongly and the kick was just off line. West Coast's answer to the Dockers no name backline - the no talent backline - had possession of the ball. Darren Glass got hold of the ball at half back and instinctively kicked it in the wrong direction to Green at fullback. Green called for the Heimlich maneuver to be applied but it was too late, he choked, lobbed the ball to no one in particulars allowing Paul Hasleby to swoop though, mark the ball, run in and kick the ball straight over Green's rapidly reddening head. The Dockers were back in front. The Eagles weren't going to lie down just yet though. They got their act together, made sure Glass & Green weren't allowed near the ball and got the ball into the hands of the Fremantle bred players that didn't still have a soft spot for the mother land. Ben Cousins ran the ball down the wing, sailor dancing and all. With Shaun McManus breathing down his neck he only had time to either make sure the kick was accurate or look good while doing it. As always he opted for the second scenario and his golden locks flowed and his back arched he looked superb (he looked even better as Macca knocked him into the fence afterwards). The kick was to no one of course but he was lucky enough to have Daniel Kerr running nearby. Kerr gathered the ball, wound up and unloaded on goals. It was a fair kick and the Eagles were back in front. Now they were ready to lie down. Chris Connolly threw the big guns onto the ground and went in for the kill. As Shaun McManus broke free on the wing he saw some familiar faces at full forward and gave the ball the full force of his boot. As it arrived in the square Peter Bell pulled anchor and flew for the mark. He got the sit on Hasleby and pulled down the footy. While Hasleby tried to wipe the grin off his face from seeing his little captain take flight, Bell went back and kicked the Dockers back into the lead. Fremantle were inspired. They whipped it out of the centre to Matthew Pavlich who charged forward as only a midfielder with the body of a mythological creature can. He got to the fifty, looked back to see a couple of deadbeats hanging off of him and decided to have a ping. He missed the ball completely but kept his feet, shook loose the would be tacklers, picked up the ball again and dobbed the goal. West Coast tried to muster a bit of a challenge but Fremantle laughed it off. They missed a couple of shots at goals to amuse themselves before Jlo tapped the ball down in the James Walker. Walker gave it old jungle saying treatment and turned on the speed as a purple blur ran in to kick the Dockers 11th goal. The Eagles had no answers, the game was slipping away and Fremantle were bee bopping and scatting all over them. The clock ticked down and Fremantle looked set to go into the break with a very comfortable 13 point lead but a lazy ruck knock was turned into a goal for the ages when Troy Longmuir run onto the ball and had a crack from what he's know saying was 75 metres out. The ball bounced in the square, his brother Justin provided the shepherd and it bounced through for a goal. Fremantle were 19 points up and Tlo set about hugging as many people as he could before play resumed. His hugging was cut short but it wasn't long before the siren sounded and he was able to get up close with his teammates as they huddled together to hear the final quarter tactics from the coach. The tactics seemed to involve the very wise plan - don't let the opposition score. It seems Chris Connolly picked up a few tricks of Sheeds last week and the numbers in the West Coast attacking half made scoring a nightmare - particularly for a side with no forward line. The Fremantle defenses was rock solid as the Eagles had one last crack at the game. They harassed and pressured the home team, forcing them to miss many a shot on goal until a fumble up the ground allowed West Coast to finally jag a goal. Through rushed behinds and poor kicking under pressure, the West Coast mob managed to get within 8 points with the just the one goal. But some brilliance form Justin Longmuir and Matthew Carr, Carr stopping the ball dead on the goal line before beating his opponent and allowing Jlo to run into an open goal, sealed the game. A consolation goal from Kerr kept a few West Coast supporter from leaving early but Medhurst quickly sent them packing to the Range Rovers with Fremantle victory. The Dockers finishing 15 points the better side and earning themselves a history making home final
|
