Fremantle v Collingwood 8 days earlier, Fremantle were a couple of Oxo cubes shy of a laughing stock. The bookmakers were putting all their energies into keeping a straight face while they accepted bets for the Dockers at huge odds to beat the Demons. Then Fremantle wiped the floor with Melbourne. A few days later Fremantle were unbackable favourites to beat Collingwood. They arrived at Subiaco Oval a team to be feared. Collingwood were doing their part too. Mick Malthouse had spent the week scrounging around the club looking for players. It was slim pickings and by Thursday night he was flicking through the phone book to see if there were any Clokes or Shaws left to give a game. By Friday afternoon they were happy to settle for any supporters that owned their own playing strip and their original teeth - still no luck. They arrived at Subiaco Oval a team, which was quite an achievement in itself. It didn't take long for thing to fall into place for Fremantle. Taking on a bloke who is allegedly one of best ruckman in the competition, Second String Sandilands smashed the ball out of the centre. The little blokes kicked it forward, the Collingwood players panicked, shoved Peter Bell in the back, and Belly dobbed the goal from a few metres out. Sandilands smashed it out of the centre again, Paul Medhurst marked just outside fifty, passed it to Peter Bell and Bell dobbed another one from 25 metres out - just how much coffee had this bloke had. Peter Bell was taking all the glory but his team mates in the middle had set up a Henry Ford style production line and were producing clearances at an alarming rate. Josh Carr bombed one long out of the centre at the next bounce, The Wiz got stiffed on a free kick but Freo brought the ball back down the ground where Medhurst and McPharlin combined to kick Freo's third. They were out of control. Josh Carr had racked up more kicks in the first five minutes than Ryan Murphy has had in his entire career. Peter Bell was a few centimetres off having three goals in a twelfth of a game of football. Shane Parker had unfolded the lawn chair and was playing a game of Euchre with Robbie Haddrill in Collingwood's goal square. The rumours were true -Collingwood really are crap. Once Fremantle got a sniff of just how bad Collingwood were, they didn't bugger about with it. They were like Sharks getting a whiff of blood (or Bulldogs a whiff of individually numbered hats) they went in for the kill. Fremantle started running rings around them. Pavlich unloaded from outside fifty to kick his first of the match. He kicked his second in Gary Dhurkkay style from three rows back in the pocket. He kicked his third from a lazy 45 metres out with little fanfare. And if a Pavlich rampage wasn't enough to worry the Collingwood fans, when Andrew Siegert starts kicking goals on the run - you're in trouble. Then Des Headland started getting in on the action. He was robbed of a goal after a free kick was paid down the ground before he kicked a beauty from the pocket, then he backed it up by pulling down a screamer in the goal square and snapping Freo's 9th. It was a massacre. When the siren sounded to end the quarter, Fremantle were given a standing ovation by the thirty five odd thousand strong crowd. Even the Collingwood supporters were up. It was Freo's best start to a game ever but more importantly, they had the game in the bag. Even Sheriff Austin couldn't get back from this far down. Chris Connolly wasn't taking any chances though. He gave his charges a good old spray, saying all the right things like 'it's not over yet' 'don't get complacent', 'there's still three quarters to go' and 'isn't that Rhyce Shaw bloke a nobber'. Despite those words of wisdom, it was a bit of a slow start for Fremantle. The Magpies butchered a couple of shots at goal before the Fremantle machine got back into gear. Josh Carr beat off about 12 Collingwood players to get the ball free, Paul Medhurst ducked and weaved through the other 6 and somehow managed to find Des Headland standing all by himself at centre half forward. Des converted for his third goal. Fremantle were now playing for percentage. Collingwood were broken (if in fact they were ever working) and were in for a very long afternoon sauntering about in the Perth afternoon sunshine. So, you can imagine the disappointment when Collinwgood kicked their first goal. Not so much because of the score but Shane Parker was all but with a hand full of spades. They had to pack up the cards and put the folder chairs away. It was a short interlude to the main show though. The Fremantle forward line sprung to life with yet another mark of the year contender from Luke McPharlin. The crowd were on their feet again as McPharlin kicked the goal and the Freee-ooooo chant rang out around Subi Oval. The crowd had come to see a good game of footy and were being treated to some champaign stuff by Fremantle. Somewhere along the line though, Collingwood decided that they were part of the contest too. They picked up a couple of kicks and put through a couple of goals. Apparently they'd abandoned the first quarter plan of standing about waving their arms in the air and hoping that would stop Freo. The remaining Collingwood supporter went mad. Most of the crowd had come to see Freo though and they weren't all that impressed with this idea of the opposition getting the ball. The Carr brothers dug deep to give the crowd what they wanted. Matty put one through, Joshy set a couple up, Matty and Joshy combined to set Pavlich up for his fourth. All they needed was a chick in a bikini and a rotating platform and the Carr show would have been complete. The Dockers stormed ahead to take a 70 point lead, a late one from Collingwood brought it back again but when you're talking numbers that big it's all academic really. If the game wasn't over after the first few minutes, it was now. Fremantle didn't have a player who wasn't blitzing. It was a bonafide shellacking. The only worry was that Collingwood were pack their gear and high tail it away on a bus at half time, robbing Fremantle of their second half percentage boost. To their credit they did show up after half time, although it was touch and go there for a while. When they finally arrived it was more of the same from Fremantle. Luke Webster brought down a "contested" mark just inside fifty and had no trouble kicking the opening goal. Andrew Siegert marked the ball on his own at centre half forward and dobbed his second. Luke McPharlin kicked a belter from outside fifty. The Wiz put the ball down Pavlich's throat so the big fella could kick his fifth. Heath Black put his raking left foot to good use, kicking goal number twenty. Luke McPharlin continued his late plunge for the Coleman medal, stealing a goal off Jeff Farmer with a sneaky kick on the goal line. Then Des Headland stole one off both of them, floating over McPharlin and in front of Farmer to take another screamer and kick another goal. Fremantle were hardly even getting up a sweat. The leash was out and they were taking the cake for a walk, up by more the magical 100 points and showing no signs of letting up. They were out of control. Fremantle sent a doctor with a stethoscope out to a few of the Collinwood players just to make sure they still had a pulse. While he was out there, he may have slipped them a couple of those caffeine tablets too because they put on a couple of late goals. It was still a ridiculous margin though and Fremantle went into the last change 90 points up. What do you tell your players at three quarter time when you're 90 points up? Well, Chris Connolly handed his players a shovel each and told them to go and bury the bastards. Mick's speech would have gone along similar lines but he gave his players a pair of goggles and a really long straw. There was nothing Collingwood could do to stop the Fremantle juggernaut. They were wetting the brushes for one last coat of shellac. As Fremantle piled on goal after goal in the last term - Pavlich, then Carr, then Medhurst, then Farmer - the crowd started to get a bit bored with it all (particularly the South Fremantle supporters who lost count two hours ago). They warmed up with a few chants, got into a bit of fence banging and then start up something that hasn't been seen at a Freo game for a good eight years - the fourth quarter wave. The players were doing their best to keep playing footy but the wave just kept going around and around and around. The crowd were going mad. The players were getting dizzy. Islands in South East Asia were getting nervous. As the wave died down, the players went through the motions and the coaches pretended they still had something to do; the scoreboard kept ticking over. Fremantle smashed the record books, sent their percentage through the roof and sent shivers down the spines of the rest of the competition. Collingwood didn't know what hit them. They were still scratching their heads wondering if it was all a really, really bad dream. It wasn't. 112 point win - that's just the beginning.
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