To save people forking over their hard earned money to the AFL in exchange for a magazine that gets bigger every week, making it harder to get to the only part you actually want - the names of the players, we've introduced the Dockerland Budget.
It’s late Thursday afternoon Football in nearly August, which traditionally means that the finals are in view and it’s time to bring out the big guns. So, after naffing about in St Kilda a couple of weeks ago, going on a bit of a holiday for four days and then getting a good dressing down from the coach, Fremantle look ready to hit back and force their way to the top of the ladder using the skulls of Carlton blokes. Hayden Ballantyne, Aaron Sandilands, Garrick Ibbotson and Stephen Hill are the designated cavalry, with Luke McPharlin expected to actually play this week. Anthony Morabito has been heave hoed along with Griffin, Sylvia and Taberner with the club so angry with their performance last week that they couldn’t even bring themselves to make up calf injuries for the four.
Ross Lyon has his sights set on the flag this year but he's the sort of bloke who loves to get feedback from the general public, good or bad. So if you really want to be a true supporter of the club, then make sure you shout stuff out to him at the ground and give him some pointers on how to get this coaching caper done. But before you do your duty as a member and hurl advice in the direction of professional coaching staff, make sure you know what you're talking about or they might just right you off as a nutjob and miss out on some choice advice. Work the board, move the magnets around and when you think you've got it sussed, start practising yelling "Hey Ross! Ross! Put Sandilands in the goal square for a rest!"
Lee Spurr |
Zac Dawson |
Tendai Mzungu |
Blaine Johnson |
Lachie Henderson |
Dale Thomas |
Cameron Sutcliffe |
Luke McPharlin |
Michael Johnson |
Brock McLean |
Jarrad Waite |
Marc Murphy |
David Mundy |
Ryan Crowley |
Danyle Pearce |
Chris Yarran |
Nick Graham |
Sam Docherty |
Stephen Hill |
Chris Mayne |
Nat Fyfe |
Kade Simpson |
Simon White |
Bryce Gibbs |
Hayden Ballantyne |
Matthew Pavlich |
Lachie Neale |
Zach Tuohy |
Sam Rowe |
Michael Jamison |
Aaron Sandilands |
Cameron Wood |
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Michael Barlow |
Tom Bell |
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Nick Suban |
Chris Judd |
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Zac Clarke |
Matt de Boer |
Andrew Carrazzo |
Garrick Ibbotson |
Paul Duffield |
Levi Casboult |
Tommy Sheridan |
Hayden Crozier |
Ed Curnow |
Matt Taberner |
Dennis Armfield |
David Ellard |
Matthew Watson |
Kane Lucas |
Numbers...you can't trust them. The Romans knew what numbers were up to and wouldn't have a bar of them. You can put your faith in a nice sturdy X but a 10, it's shifty. The only thing more iffy than a number is a statistic, they'll cut you open and rob you of your kidneys before you can say "aren't you supposed to drug me and put in a bath of ice first?". Unfortunately we're hooked on numbers though, we need them to work out how many kicks David Mundy had this week...and probably some other stuff too. The Dockerland Labs spent the summer pondering the problem and eventually, when the cricket was over, the fridge was empty and the clicker broke in everyone's pen, they came up with a solution - the stats cloud. A quick glance and you'll pretty much know everything about a game of football that there was to know, at least all the boring bits about it. The bigger the player's name, the more kicks, or marks, or tackles he had compared to his teammates.Â