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StatsClouds : Sydney v Fremantle
Numbers...you can't trust them. The Romans knew what numbers were up to and wouldn't have a bar of them. You can put your faith in a nice sturdy X but a 10, it's shifty. The only thing more iffy than a number is a statistic, they'll cut you open and rob you of your kidneys before you can say "aren't you supposed to drug me and put in a bath of ice first?". Unfortunately we're hooked on numbers though, we need them to work out how many kicks David Mundy had this week...and probably some other stuff too. The Dockerland Labs spent the summer pondering the problem and eventually, when the cricket was over, the fridge was empty and the clicker broke in everyone's pen, they came up with a solution - the stats cloud. A quick glance and you'll pretty much know everything about a game of football that there was to know, at least all the boring bits about it. The bigger the player's name, the more kicks, or marks, or tackles he had compared to his teammates.Â
Match Ballad: Sydney v Fremantle
The Swans had finished on the top
and Fremantle had come fourth
So they played the final in Sydney
It's like Melbourne, but further north
The plane was late, the rain came early
the ground was a funny shape.
but Pav called out 'It's wharfie time'
and donned his superman cape
Sydney went on the front foot early
but they just couldn't find the big sticks
Back home in Freo the fans were toey
and Basil Zempilas was giving them the shits
Mzungu broke through for the purple team
and then Pavlich steadied the ship
Ballantyne wasn't getting much footy
but he still gave out plenty of lip
By quarter time it was three goals each
With the Swans ahead on points
But Sydney were down a defender
Malceski had buggered one of his joints
They siren sounded, it was on again
and Fremantle came out firing
Pavlich put the Freo team in front
as always, the captain was inspiring
The Swans weren't ones to lay down
to roll over or to fold
They looked around and thought about
When Cathy Freeman won the gold
Then they dobbed a couple in reply
then doubled their defence
no one scored for twenty minutes
by golly it was tense
The half time break was coming
A welcome break indeed
But there was time for Pav to goal
To put Freo a kick within the lead
Half time in the changeroom
saw the coaches do their best
to give their teams a rev up
and the boys to have a rest
The break didn't last forever
And the players headed back
It's the golden minute of the game
Where Barlow isn't showing any crack
The ball went straight to Ballantyne
Who was having a quiet day
But the kick it was a scrubber
And Ross gave him an almighty spray
It was hard to hear what the coach said
When Ballas failed to put his team in front
Ross must have thought he dropped his head
because it sounded like 'you ducking runt'
Things took a bad turn after that
And Freo barely kicked a score
What made matters much, much worse
Sydney's goal count totalled four
There were no last minute Pavlich soccers
No signs of Zac'ry Dawson's hands of glue
To salvage the third quarter scoreline
Where the Swans lead by twenty two
It all came down to the last quarter
Fremantle needed to show some grit
Two minutes in they had two goals
Good God! They were going to win it.
Now Silvangi had been keeping
Franklin quiet as a mouse
He'd scragged, he bumped, he'd sheparded
He’d made Buddy look like a girls blouse
But then Franklin got a shot on goal
After Scos had kept him in a blanket
Silvagni just closed his eyes
and said 'Please God let him shank it'
But Buddy kicked it straight and true
No sign of the Buddy arc
Silvagni took a deep breath in
then shouted an almighty "fark'
From there it was too tough a job
To reel the Swans back in
They'd have to go the long way round
if the premiership they were to win
So off the ground they trotted
To Sydney they had succumbed
A no excuses football club
(although those umpires were all bums)
And Ross will get them back on track
with a quote from Sun Tzu
and thank God I've finally found a
rhyme for Tendai Mzungu
Freo Supporters Get An Extra Week of Footy
Fremantle have decided to take the heroes route to the final, with Sydney opting to take a gap week before continuing their quest for the premiership. After a series of setbacks, Fremantle were brave just to arrive on time to the venue and once there, they got down to work, absorbing the relentless Sydney pressure and applying a fair measure of their own. Scores were level for most of the day, with Fremantle forwards toughing it out against a battle hardened Sydney defense and the Sydney forwards falling over and being handed mysterious free kicks in the goal square but the Swans turned the screws once too often on the Dockers midfield and took a handy lead into the three quarter time break. Fremantle fought back, with a couple of quick ones to open the last but they couldn’t manage to contain the falling Swans for long enough to take back the lead. Some late ones in time on finished Freo off with a 24 point win to Sydney, leaving the Dockers with three more games to win before the flag is hoisted over Fremantle town hall.
Rate The Players: Sydney v Fremantle
Have your say on how the Dockers players performed on the weekend by rating each player from zero to five or just pop in and have a look what everyone else had to say about the team.