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Dear God

TOPIC: Dear God

FD1016 Dear God 5 years 7 months ago #1

FD1016
Dear God and Jesus,

Please forgive me for the times I took your names in vain over the weekend, but let’s face it, it does make one doubt your existence looking at the choice of teams you’ve helped get to the GF. However, I’m willing to jump back on board on Saturday... you know what you have to do....

Amen
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rogerrocks, pollyanna, beenquietoolong, OldMate said You Beaut

purple mao Dear God 5 years 7 months ago #2

purple mao
Dear Allah. What he said...
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FD1016, Raglan Matt said You Beaut

expat Dear God 5 years 7 months ago #3

expat
Didn't you know God & Allah are now obsolete. Their bags are packed and have been traded for Quantum Physics.

Go QP...
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CrankyB Dear God 5 years 7 months ago #4

CrankyB
Oh Great Cthulhu, please rise from the sea and eat the lot of them.
Ia Cthulhu ftagn!
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expat, FDB, Burton said You Beaut

Jooter Dear God 5 years 7 months ago #5

Jooter
Yes?
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pollyanna Dear God 5 years 6 months ago #6

pollyanna
Thanks for listening.

Listen mate, it's time to run one of those Moses moments again - they're a big hit down here, they last forever. But let's just rejig it a bit - you know, give it at least an appearance of being different. Yeah, like the ABC Bored stuff, call it a Friday night rerun if you like.

I don't know, but let's just say that Nathan Buckley bloke stands in for Moses and like he's leading everyone in the known universe away from The Slime. The Slime are charging up behind him and he reaches this big sea somewhere. This time, let's just get the Moses guy to stand aside on the shore - you part the seas, the Slime go thundering past like a pack of rabid knobbers and then you collapse the sea on them and it's all over red rover. It will work a treat, guaranteed hit with everyone not from the shiney part of town out here.

Great stuff, much appreciated - howdy to your boy and all that, regards Polly.
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The_Yeti, point less, Mercury, expat, Raglan Matt, Corporal Agarn said You Beaut

shane Dear God 5 years 6 months ago #7

shane
Dear God,

Thanks for everything you've done for us over the years. Three in particular come to mind and it's worth running through some of your handy work.

2005 - Leo Barry. The looks on their little faces were priceless. Top stuff.

2006. - Wow. I mean, I was impressed with what you did with gravity and such but that 2006 methed up breakdown of their club you did was next level. 12 years later and they're still making the news.

2015- Done by quarter time. Forget beating the traffic, most of them had left Victoria by three quarter time.

Anyways, can't wait to see what you've got cooked up for tomorrow.

Shane
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The_Yeti, pollyanna, expat said You Beaut

Drubbing Dear God 5 years 6 months ago #8

Drubbing
DG

If you're omnipotent and stuff, then surely an alien invasion of Melbourne isn't that hard to organise? Before lunch would be good.
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Corporal Agarn Dear God 5 years 6 months ago #9

Corporal Agarn
Hey Big Fella

We've done our best, now it's about time you pulled your weight. Come on you know you want to.

Cheers mate
C.A.

P.S. Where's Daniel Chick when we need him?
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rogerrocks Dear God 5 years 6 months ago #10

rogerrocks
If only we could read his mind and know who he's been building up for the fall. If he exists it would have to be Eagles supporters.
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WAL Dear God 5 years 6 months ago #11

WAL
Load up big on them, currently $2.25. If they win your winnings takes the sting out of it a bit and if they lose you still win
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goodie Dear God 5 years 6 months ago #12

goodie
It hurts to say it but I think the slime will win fairly comfortably today. The pies threw everything at them a couple of weeks ago and still lost. I can’t see Cox playing like last week again and McGovern will thrash him if he is fit. There is too much firepower up forward for West Coast and they are very well organised as a team.
I pray I am wrong and hopefully the weather is awful which should help the pies.
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Grub Dear God 5 years 6 months ago #13

Grub
Yep there is a boat in it if you get it right.
The other less speculative and possibly less expensive option is to get Hypen to declare them as a certainty.

Hi Clive
Mate, have we not been through enough the past couple of years. I put up with your natural disasters and just bad bad decisions but just this once how about using one of those Acts of Clive for good and not evil? I’ve learnt enough lessons over my lifetime and I can, with hand on heart (not the one holding my beer) state that I do not need another. My character is fully built.
You know what to do and if that knobber Darling kicks a goal (even one) I’ll know that you are not on board.
In return I promise not to swear at the tv until the game starts.
Kind regards for now,
Grub
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Raglan Matt said You Beaut

careyg Dear God 5 years 6 months ago #14

careyg
Old Bob was at a Collingwood grand final a few years back when he saw Alan Didak pass the ball to a teammate. He had a heart attack and died. A few hours later he arrived at the pearly gates and a man with a long white beard appeared.
A conversation ensued
Bob: Have I died?
St P: Yep!
Bob: Is this heaven?
St P: Yep!
Bob: Can I come in
St P: Nope!
Bob: Why not?
St P: Because you’re a Collingwood supporter
Bob: That’s not fair
St P: It’s the rules, no Collingwood supporters allowed
Bob: But but.....I’ve been good
St P: What do you mean?
Bob: This week I gave $20 to the blind dogs association
St P: Oh yeah, what else?
Bob: Last week I gave $20 to the sisters of mercy
St P: Ok Anything else?
Bob: Last month I gave $20 to St Vinnies
St P: I’ll go talk to God and I’ll ask him for leniency, wait here

20 minutes later St Peter comes back

Bob: Can I come in now?
St P: Nope!
Bob: What did God say??
St P: Here’s your $60 bucks back, now piss off!
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cletus, expat said You Beaut
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