For some reason I watched the marketing video at the top of the story. Here’s the list of completely unbelievable things that happened in chronological order.
0.05 - A non-Baby Boomer appears to live on a giant property with gorgeous views somewhere near a capital city, in this case Melbourne. That has never happened. Is this an AirBNB?
0.06 - Despite appearing to be in some sort of semi-rural location, the guy has a take-away coffee cup. It’s unclear where he got this from. Uber eats?
0.07 - It’s football season in Melbourne and this bloke is wearing a t-shirt. This seems off. Also, I’m not a watch guy, but does anyone under the age of 60 own a gold Rolexy-looking watch?
Working Theory: Is this one of those films where a baby-boomer swaps places with his son in some sort of wacky accident?
0.12 - The guy has his jumper laid out on his bed. Did his mum do this for him? What is going on here? There is stuff in the cupboards, so perhaps we can rule out the AirBnB thing. If were going to the trouble of laying out your jumper, wouldn’t you make sure your undershirt somewhat matches, or at least doesn’t clash, with your footy jumper? Who wears Kermit Green with orange?
0.22 - Diver arriving. Is this an Uber driver, or is this actually a baby-boomer-in-younger-body and it’s his personal driver? It’s unclear.
0.24 - Guy meets his mates at the pub. This is the most normal thing to happen so far. One of them is wearing a t-shirt and a beanie. Is it hot or cold? Make up your mind buddy. None of those guys have facial hair. So, not from Melbourne?
0.27 – “Your fans have swarmed” I hate marketing people. Still, a swarm of Giants? Needs some work.
0.33 - Two blokes have half-full beers, then our protagonist is told to go to the bar. Next shot they all have half-full beers. How is this even possible? Did the other guys stop drinking? Did our protagonist skull half his beer at the bar? This isn’t how drinking works. Anyway, so, there’s three Giants fans going to an away game in Melbourne. Why are they getting free stuff there? And how is it that there are Giants fans living in Melbourne?
0.37 – Why are these guys hi-fiving? That’s not really how guys act. Well, maybe it’s how Giants fans living in Melbourne act. No-one has ever met these people before. Their ways are strange.
0.43 - This shot could have used some work. It looks from this angle like the second guy just showed his penis to get free entry. Is this something we can do?
0.48 – One guy just points to the roof for no reason. I love it.
0.54 “Thankyou for being at every home game this season.” Umm, the Giants are playing in Melbourne now?
Working Theory: These guys Carlton fans who have decided to switch to GWS from this game on.
0.54 – Our guys just won some free pies. I’m guessing it’s 7 minutes to go in the last quarter. Our guys proceed to tuck into pies with no sauce. That's weird. Perhaps the sauce was $5? Maybe the ad producers were too cheap to buy sauce. Also, check out the guy on the left. He has clearly never eaten a pie in his life. “Is this how I do it…..CUT!”
1.04 – Totally unrealistic celebration. GWS won this game by 236 points. There is no fist pumping existing the stadium. Check out the Blues supporter on the right of screen. He’s giving this bozos the disdainful look they deserve.
1.10 – These blokes are pretty happy to be direct marketed. Again, I don’t think this has ever happened. It says the next match is 28 August, which is a Tuesday (GWS play on Sunday 26 August). No wonder tickets are so cheap. I think this is a scam fellas. I think that fist -pump might be misplaced.
Final theory: These men are aliens trying to learn the ways of humans. That explains their economic resources, why they don’t feel the cold, why they support GWS in Melbourne, and why they aren’t savvy enough in human ways to detect a scam.
