Laugh_Cry, it’s really difficult. I’ve been on both sides of similar difficult conversations. Many years ago a dad who sat near me approached me to ask if I could maybe keep the general swearing down a bit. Personally I didn’t think I’d crossed the line, but people have different views of where that line is and what I was saying had clearly bothered him enough to approach me. I appreciated that he came to me directly rather than telling security, for example. I can’t say I was perfect from then on – how can you completely eliminate swearing when you are a Freo fan? – but I caught up with him later in the season and he said he appreciated the effort.
The other side of the coin was when we had some young guys behind us who were a bit keen on homophobic slurs. I was probably guilty of that as an idiot teenager a couple of decades ago, but times have moved on a bit since then and I wasn’t comfortable not saying anything. I just waited until I was alone with the most sensible looking guy in the group (in the beer line, obviously) and just said that while swearing in general didn’t bother me, the homophobic F-word wasn’t cool and asked him if he could just use any number of the other swear words to describe players from the other team. The next time one of his mates yelled it out, he said something like ‘maybe don’t use that word’ and a couple of other people around them chirped up and agreed they he should probably put that word away.
As for Polly’s advice, I remember a couple of years ago being on a bus, and there was a quiet high school kid, I think maybe Iranian, and some old nutter on the bus started having a crack at him, I guess for being Muslim of something. Anyway, as I was sitting next to the kid, I just had a chat with him and made sure he knew that everyone thought the other bloke was a dickhead and to ignore him, but that if got any further in his grill we’d step in. As it happens some other old bloke on his way to work took matters into his own hands and just snotted the old racist, and literally threw him off the bus and gave him a couple to go on with. I’m not saying that’s the right thing to do, but when I think about which bloke I’d rather be, I kinda wish I was more like that guy.