Corporal its a shame you cant see the game live, actually may be its a blessing because if youve got hair, you wouldnt have any now.
Let me describe it like this because I have the misfortune of going every week.
Its like a bizarre Pagans Paddock. Except there is no Carey left in the goal square.
All the forwards clear out and run down towards the back line to help out our besieged defenders. All of them. Occasionally Mc Carthy and Walters only go down to the Half Back line but usually its all of them.
All the midfielders attract to the ball, like really attract, like they are all within 1 - 2 meters of the actual ball. RoLy speak calls it "bees to a honey pot" but he does nothing about it. There is no outside ring. There is no one on the fat side. You could throw a blanket over our whole midfield brigade.
To give them credit, they often win the ball within 1 m of Sandilands, handball to another guy, 1m from Sandilands, who handballs to Sandilands and so it goes until eventually under extreme pressure they decide to just boot it forward. Sometimes it then lands at the defensive 50 m line and sometimes we win it again and sometimes it just rebounds back for a goal. Its about a 50:50 chance either way as the tumbling ball is literally a lottery.
When we do win it at the defensive 50 we do either two things. Kick it long to a couple of the opposition who have decided to stay back along the centre line (remember there is NO ONE in the front half, off screen) OR we look up and consider our options, (if the ball is in the hands of an experienced Docker). Seeing no options forward of course, the player then kicks it sideways or backwards into the maelstrom of congestion. This is another 50:50 ball. Sometimes we even mark this kick.
On it goes kicking around the back line, each kick at 50:50 odds of being intercepted until someone blinks and a miss kick occurs, inevitable turnover, Goal.
You ask about the game plan, thats it. Im not joking. The best kicking team in the league wouldnt be able to get it past the centre line with this game plan.