So, we got nearly 100 responses to my incredibly scientific survey. Some key findings:
i. 34% of respondents would commit vehicular homicide against an Eagles player. This seems low. It is certainly lower than your chance of being run over by an ex-Eagles player evading police.
ii. Dockerlanders are most likely to take the train to the stadium, although these numbers might have been inflated by the fact that the alternatives included a fictional option (travelator), and a wildly fictional option (Shane’s boat).
iii. Roughly the same number of respondents would fire Zac Dawson out of a cannon as not.
iv. People are looking for a good price from beer. Interestingly, few care for taste. This probably goes some way to explaining why XXXX Gold is Australia’s highest selling beer (idiot Queenslanders being the biggest reason).
v. Most people are prepared to pay ‘about the same’ for their membership at the new stadium. Prepare to be disappointed.
vi. The responses suggested a fair amount of anti-Bond sentiment. 60% percent of respondents would fire Chris Bond twice, just to be sure. Roughly a third thought ‘he’s not great’, with the rest taking a more aggressive stance. By comparison, only 8% of respondents would fire Roly, which is pretty low considering we are 0-10. Only 23% thought I should personally “F@#! Off,” which is consistent with most of my day-to-day interactions.
vii. Almost all consider VIP entrance, after-match functions and cocktail food about as irrelevant as Brad Hardie. This is not surprising, but there’s a chance people will care more about after-match functions when they realise there’s no travelator to take them home after the game.
viii. 100% of respondents agreed that the AFL and/ or umpires are biased against Freo. No surprises there.
Thanks for participating everyone.
