Ok I'll play:
Zac's Elbow
If you can keep your punch when all about you
Are losing theirs and marking at will,
If you can trust yourself and leave your man alone
But make allowance for others leaving too;
If you can wait and not be tired by pushing,
Or being tugged about, don't deal in pushes,
Or being hated, don't give way to diving,
And yet don't look too good, nor kick too well:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of baiting done,
Your can elbow anyone and everything that's around,
And - which is more - you'll be a Zac, my son!
(Apologies Mr Kipling)