Hello anybody,
I bought this Cadillac a couple of years ago for everything I had at the time. It's not new but it was in pretty good condition and I knew I could repair those mechanical difficulties. I've parked it on my driveway because I wanted everyone to know how great it was that I had a Cadillac. I've never given it a proper drive but it still looks great and everyone really admires that it's in my driveway. In fact, I've paid $650,000 every year just to have it parked there.
But after a couple of years paying all that I still don't want to drive it anywhere. It may have a flat tyre but I couldn't be buggered changing it - not that I really know how to in the first place.
Now I realise that some people don't even think that it's a real Cadillac and I don't want to pay $650,000 every year if that's the case. In fact, if someone really thinks this is a Cadillac, I will pay you hundreds of thousands of dollars for thinking that. I don't really need my driveway because I don't want to go anywhere but I need you to remove this Cadillac from my house.
Hey, I'm a business man - sometimes you've got to pay some chump to make others believe you're not a chump. I know what I'm doing, trust me.