Hang in there, Gemini (unfortunate choice of car but there ya go)
Not a doctor but since alcohol based hand cleaners (the more alcohol the better) are absolutely indispensable according to the medicos, I'm thinking that alcohol based refreshments will be just what the doctor ordered. (well someone is ordering them) So if they're wining and dining you, help yourself.
...and if you're worried about your wasteline, the empty food shelves at your local Coles will help you out on your return.
I understand your dilemma with your son and in-law but your offspring following the slime is really your fault. You'll just have to make sure that the grandkids wear purple (that'll show the bastards)
In the meantime, good luck to you all and get back in one piece...so you can watch our girls take out the big one.
