Does anyone know if you can write in your preferred response for the Australian Marriage Postal Survey? Because after reflecting on the events of the weekend, I don't consider that two West Coast Eagles fans should be allowed to marry.
Now, don't get me wrong, some of my best friends are Eagles fans, and while what consenting Eagles fans do in their homes is their business, I don't think two Eagles fans can provide the requisite balance to parenting to allow them to raise children. It's important that kids can learn what is a hard-won free kick, and what is a blatant act of cheating. They need to learn when to boo, and when to shut their pie hole. Clearly a child can never learn those things with two Eagles fans as parents. And after all, raising healthy, normal children is what marriage is about.
Plus, I'm concerned that if Eagles fans are allowed to marry, teachers will force kids as young as 7 to role play ducking for free kicks.
And where does it end? Like, if we let Eagles fans get married, what next? Eagles fans marrying umpires? Eagles fans marrying inanimate objects like The West Australia or Karl Langdon?
I realise that some may think I'm a bigot, but being raised as a Dockers fan I consider that my views on Eagles-fan marriages must be respected and this is how I will be voting.
Clive bless you all.