Dear Mr Warnock




Before you choof off on the soft way to being No 1 ruck, please leave the last three years' of steak and sausages at the door.

Holy Poop. I was just going to write back to say he was still a skinny bugger, but that picture makes him now look like Haystacks
Calhoun in comparison. I've seen stick insects with more meat on them.

After all that pig and cow he has put away maybe we might qualify for some sort of a carbon trading windfall now he is off our books.

We should consider ourselves lucky. His brother has been known to gobble down while having a break on the bench - loads up before hitting the field again:

Along with all the meat he's woofed down over the last three years he can also leave the money for the shoulder operation in an envelope marked "for any young player who needs three years of time and patience before they decide to choof off back to Mummy."

what if we lop the arm off at the shoulder and feed it to Sandilands?

Let him keep the arm.

Sandi can have the whole buffet served in a blue cheat sauce in what I reckon will be about round 9 next year.

I hope the operation was done by Dr Nick.

...Haystacks Calhoun. Now that is a fair effort. *dips lid*