I saw more fat-assed, scary-looking mamas in the pathetically small Port Adelaide crowd on Friday night than I saw when I watched Jerry Springer for three months while on long service.

Who actually supports Port Adelaide? The players' hilariously rough-as-bags mums and who else. Really?

No-one was there.

I mean, let's be sensible about this. $46.90 is not a great deal of money to shed watching your team play in a final that could very well have been their last for the year. They'd spend that on a dodgy tatt or a carton and a half of West End. Surely not every Port Adelaide punter alive was caught out between dole payments.

Don't give me this guff about not being able to afford to take the whole family. Bugger the family. Surely one of them could go. There was no-one in that crowd.

Last year 22000 people used to show up, fortnight in, fortnight out, to watch Freo cop a flogging - 16 games in a row!!!!! What would happen if we ever got a home final? There would have to be a lottery.

(And telling me that our unfailing, indiscriminatory support is responsible for our lack of performance won't wash. If that is true, the reverse would be true and I do remember a few people rocking up to see quality teams play the odd final in the past.)

What gives with this club? I know theirs is a traditional supporter base ra-de-ra-de-ra and that they don't really attract anyone who wasn't born and bred but why don't the punters who support them go to the footy? It's weird.

An astute observation, Mission Man. Almost $50 for entry is too much to pay though.

Having said that though, I am a die-hard fan and I would fork out for it if Freo were in the same situation (I live in Sydney and I'd even fly home for the weekend to watch them play a home final) but supporters in other states must be rather fickle or else Power would have filled the stadium.

It comes down to who has the best supporters and, as far as quality goes, the Dockers have the best fans.

Besides the obvious, why are Dockers 'fans' (I prefer 'supporters') better than any other teams? Everyone is in it for one big hungry cause.

Interesting article by Caro (settle boys) in todays Age about how No Action, Eyebrow and other AFL "dignitries" copped numerous verbal sprays from the crowd on Friday night and even had to be escorted out of the ground at the end of the game. Even Graham Cornes and Eyebrow evidently had a verbal joust at half time.

I think it's time for these ****heads to go. They have no idea how to run the competition, unless running it into the ground is the criteria. They moan and complain about poor crowds yet charge like wounded bulls to see home & away games and then hike the price up even further for finals. Are finals more expensive to stage than a home and away game?

The majority of clubs are going to post a loss and a couple a going to the wall, yet the TV rights deal and sale of Waveley are supposed to bring in a wad of cash. Where is it all going? They sit in their plush offices in their ivory tower at AFL house and convincing themselves they are doing a good job. If these blokes were running a public company they'd be sacked in no time.

is the average Port supporter really like that? Substitute a few words and it could apply just as equally to the average Collingwood supporter (a bit like trying to distinguish between bungfritz , stras (I think the WA variant is poloni)). all offal with just a name change to take account of locality/consumer)

$50 does appear a bit steep. Are that many of the PA fans on the rocknroll? Are the Beaumont children coming home for christmas? - who knows. I do know that the northern suburbs of adelaide outsell the rest of the country in hydroponics supplies - and I doubt that they are growing organically certified lettuce.

I reckon their problem is that they are so arrogant that they don't appreciate the position they are in. You give a Richmond supporter a final and they'll be putting their children into hock to get to the footy. The Port supporters think they'll be at the top forever and if they miss this year they can just go along next year.

The tickets are a bit pricey but whenever you get the argument of the footy costin too much, you get a the costing for a family of 4 sitting in premium seats, buying a record for each of the kids and having a 3 course meal. Take the team list from the paper, leave the kids at home, take polony sandwhiches and sit behind a pole and you'll save about $500. If that's still too much, steal one of those pass out tickets off a smoker as they're lighting up, borrow someone's concession card jump the fence, buy a cheap ticket to the SANFL game the day before and hide out overnight.

But in fairness to Port Adelaide fans, Friday night is drinkin' night at the Port Adelaide Workers Club.

Look, when I am slagging another team I don't want any distractions. I know the AFL are no-hoping scum floating and feasting on the dreams and hopes of the punters. I know they would be flat out organising getting punched in the face in a Kalgoorlie pub. I know $50 just to get in the footy is a bit steep. I know all that.

But I am busy poking fun at how just plain unpopular Port Adelaide are. They would struggle getting hungry pit bulls to bite them if they covered themselves in Pal and ran nude through the dog pound.

As for the rather appalling cliches I am spewing about the white-trash nature of the Port supporter - Trev, you know better than that. You are a Royboy wandering naked in this world, looking for a new home and being a bit disturbed by the flashiness of the Brisvegas townhouse being offered to you. You're welcome here, mate, you know that, but you know how it goes when the slippers are put on for a kicking. Facts, schmacts - I like my theory.

MM - the cliches were very well assembled. I am told that Port also has a history of offering the morally challenged (read, those with a criminal record) a second chance. Sadly, Salman Rushdie's "Darkest Adelaide" did not refer to the Port - which is a pity, that could be easily rectified he if makes a return visit to the city of churches. Yes, i am a lost royboy in search of something better (and I think I might have found it)

my wife was at that game mman.
and freo accepts all ships in a storm trev.

I wouldn't pay $50 to see the Dockers in a final and I have been following the footy in this town for over 30 years. I empathise with the Port fans. And why are finals so expensive anyway? Wouldn't have anything to do with supply and demand would it?

Did anyone catch any of Rex Hunt calling the Port game?

He cut sick at the feral crowd cos a bogan threw a glass water bottle at the commentary box after an umpire decision. Rex was full on abusing this guy, and telling his wife to divorce him. Finished it off by saying that this guy's dad should have gone home early from the dance and saved us all from encountering him. Go rex!

Ferrals? What about those harassing meatheads who claim to be fellows of the Imperial Purple that gather around the train stations harassing the innocent after games? You talk of bottle throwing, my 9 year old sister got one to the head after the Derby. Where is Rex when you need him most?

[Edited by shane on 17-Sep-02 07:52]

Sean,call yourself a Dockers supporter and then you say you wouldn't pay $50 to see the Dockers in a final! If that's the price that is what you pay if you follow your team.
Spare a thought for the likes of myself who have to pay the price of a ticket(2 actually as my daughter is always there too!) and petrol down to Perth from Merredin to see the Dockers play, each time it would cost me at least $100.(Now I know why I work!) Also 3 friends and I went to Melb from Perth this year to watch the Dockers play Richmond, and I tell you if they had of got in a final we would have been right back there again giving the old plastic a hammering.
Stop moaning about the prices if you are keen you would find a way to pay!