 | It's seems to have taken for ever for them to get around to us, but Richmond are finally heading over to Perth to give the Dockers a crack at the 222 point record Geelong set earlier in the year. Goal kicking practice has been all the rage at Fremantle Oval this weekend with stout defenders in particular keen to use this week as a chance to make it onto the highlight reel. |
| Of course, when a side hasn't won a game for the season it would be easy to take them lightly. It would be easy for Matthew Pavlich to look down at his opponent, see that it’s Graham Polak and see if he can break the all time goal kicking record one point in one point increments (much like he did last week when he saw he was playing on Harry O'Brien). It would be easy for Chris Tarrant to look around and see Thursfield hanging on to his jumper and decide to try and win himself a car with the human step ladder. It would be easy for Luke McPharlin to see Richo walking towards him and ignore the footy just to see if he can make Richo cry. It would be easy for Antoni Grover to find himself on Brett Deledio, look about the ground and see Richo in tears, then further up to Aaron Sandilands standing next to the smallest ruckman in the league before pulling out the card table and settling in for an afternoon of Canasta with Roger Hayden. It would be easy for Aaron Sandilands to see who he was up against and decide to duck out between centre bounces to see if he can track down where the Mr Whippy music is coming from. | | All over the ground it would be easy for players to look at the bloke standing next to them and become complacent. Nothing would be easier than going into the game with one eye on the footy and one eye on the clock to make sure they got home in time to see Debbie Gibson on Where Are They Now.
No one is more aware of this than Chris Connolly - which is why he spent Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday setting his video recorder. It's also why he has spent the time since then telling his players just how seriously they need to take the game. He's declared that the game will like playing the best side in the competition in a Grand Final. There are to be no apologies, no half measures, no taking them lightly. It’s full on, no tomorrow style stuff that we’ll next see from Fremantle in the spring.
And unlike Essendon and their weekly Grand Finals, they don’t do things in half measures at Fremantle. When Chris Connolly declares it a Grand Final they go full tilt at it.
On Monday night the boys went out to the Casino. They got a Greek megalomaniac to mispronounce names for five hours and watched Brendan Fevola get drunk on the big screen, then they drove around to Chris Judd's place to perv on his missus.
During the week there will be heated debate about how the Grand Final should be moved from its traditional time of 2.40pm on a Sunday afternoon to the early hours of the morning to maximise the US television audience.
Keep an eye out on Friday morning, the club has organised a motorcade through the streets of Fremantle. People are encouraged to run up to the players with microphones and ask them if they are nervous. And later that night, Channel 7 have agreed to put on several hours of irrelevant VFL matches from the 70's and 80's.
Before the game, much expense will be spare for the pre-game entertainment. A Sky Hooks tribute band have been lined up to sing a song from a beer commercial while Daryl Somers will dance with a minor celebrity surrounded by three blokes shirtless blokes in tight shorts.
The match day ball will be flown in on a helicopter before being thrown into the esky with the other 10 footys and, once the National Anthem, Waltzing Matilda and Doin’ The Cometti have been sung, the game will get underway.
With the right preparation, a ridiculous surplus of talent over Richmond and a huge home crowd doing their bit to make it a Grand Final like atmosphere, the result should at that point be a foregone conclusion.
They're a professional bunch though so, once the 4 points are locked away, they'll then take forty five minutes to do a lap of the oval, make a few little kids cry, swear as often as possible on national television and eat some goldfish to finish it all off. It's a well orchestrated, brilliantly thought out plan. The only thing they really need to decide on is which of their former captains will get themselves addicted to amphetamines in the months following.
The Teams
You Be Chris
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