Shaun McManus. Born with good looks, tremendous footballing ability and as smart as a chimp. Unfortunately, luck was never in his genetic makeup and a streak of injuries, a run of poor form, a lot of angry supporters and Damian Drum have held him back for most of his career. But in April 2004 he finally made it to 150 games and what better way to celebrate than beating the pants of Collingwood.

Fremantle v Collingwood
Sunday 18th April, 2004
Subiaco Oval

A week earlier, a bunch of crazy Canadians decided to get together and entertain themselves by seeing how many cuddly fur seals they could club over the head. As you'd expect there was an outcry throughout the world, but protesters and activists were unable to save the 350,000 now dead seals with news of a much more barbaric act diverting their attention. Word got out that an even more defenseless, pathetic, slow witted group of creatures was about to be set upon and thrashed within an inch of their life - the Fremantle v Collinwood game. Protesters camped outside Fremantle Oval all week to try and stop the Dockers brutalising the creatures known collectively as the Collingwood Football Club and as each day passed, and another Collingwood player pulled out of the game, their voices got louder. Fremantle made some concessions to appease the protesters by leaving out a couple of their own stars, Des Headland and Matthew Carr, but were unrelenting in their goal to wipe them off the paddock.

But there were a few concerns for Fremantle at the beginning of the match, the Collingwood protection society, a group which also trades as the AFL Umpires, looked like they were going to pull out all the stops with 2 free kicks going to the Magpies in the opening minute of the game. But like the players, it was just taking the umpires a few minutes to find their bearings and they soon settled down. The Dockers themselves even took a few practice swings before Jeff Farmer got in the first full blooded blow to Collingwood, after catching Cloke holding the ball in the forward pocket and converting for the goal halfway through the opening quarter.

Looking up at the clock and seeing that 15 minutes had already passed seemed to spark a bit of urgency in the Fremantle camp and they took things up a notch. Byron Schammer put his head down and went for a run through the middle of the ground before going long into the forward line. Paul Medhurst collected the ball and unveiled an unusual style of kicking when he snapped straight over his head, unusual mostly because it was straight. The Dockers had their second and looked hungry for a lot more.

Unfortunately there's a bloke on the Collingwood side who has a bigger appetite than anyone and a brief drop in concentration combined with a fluke indoor breeze to give Anthony Rocca a chance to score Collingwood's first major.

It came as a bit of a shock to the Dockers and they were quick to reply by working the ball out of the centre with precision into the hands of Paul Medhurst. While some Collingwood supporters in the crowd suggested Medhurst gave a slight nudge in the back, most Fremantle supporters will be able to tell you that the umpire was in the perfect position and as such, must have made the correct call.

Freo had to scrap it out for a while as Mick, realising his team were about to be done over, panicked and called for the flood. But the flood doesn't work if all you've got is a garden hose and water restrictions mean it's not your day of the week to use it. So it didn't take too long before Fremantle broke through when Sandilands tapped the ball out to Troy Longmuir who dribbled the ball through from a few centimeters of the goal line. But the umpire had been caught out of position this time and pinged Sandilands for a throw. Tlo had already organised a group hug in the centre of the ground to celebrate and the players were unable to break loose of Tlo's affectations when they realised the goal had been disallowed. Collingwood ran the ball up the ground and, thanks to another freak gust of indoor wind, Woewodin snapped a goal.

The siren wasn't far away, stopping Fremantle from getting the goal back and meaning they only had a 6 point lead at quarter time.

Ever leave the house and a few minutes later you start to get the feeling that you've forgotten something? That's the feeling Mick Malthouse must have had on his way down to the ground from the coaches box. When he got down there and had a look at the magnetic board he would have realised what he'd forgotten - a forward line. His solution to the dilemma seemed to involve turning the board upside down. It got him a forward line but didn't do much for his defense and the Dockers went to town.

Matthew Pavlich got the ball rolling (figuratively of course, because his 70 metre kick didn't touch the ground at any point) when he unloaded on the run from outside fifty. They followed that up with the sort of set plays out of the centre that only Chris Connolly (and possibly one of the Batman Villains) could come up with. Jlo tapped it down to Cook, he booted it into the forward line, Jeff Farmer soccered it over to Paul Medhurst and Medhurst soccered it through for a goal. Back in the middle, Justin Longmur took the ruck knock again, this time he ran forward, when it spilled free Hasleby snapped it around his body to Jlo who went for a run and dobbed the goal from the fifty metre line. Just 40 seconds to carry out the two plays but clearly worth the hours they've spent practicing in closed sessions.

They worked so well, that Chris Connolly put the play book away, realising that he was wasting his tactical wizardry on this Collingwood side and just let his players play footy. And they were doing it easy. Jeff Farmer waltzed through the middle of the ground and delivered a perfect pass to Troy Simmonds who was on the lead from the goal square, a good 30 metres in front of his man. Simmonds nailed it and the Dockers led by 31 points.

Around this point the Collingwood players must have gazed to the sky and caught their reflections in the shiny roof of The Dome. "We're bloody Collingwood" they must have thought and they started playing like the Magpies of old. Roughing blokes up in the packs, pushing them into the ground, working the kidneys and groin area, diving for free kicks and arguing every single umpiring decision made - even the ones in their favour. They did it so well that Brodie Holland got a free kick for punching Jeff Farmer and Shane O'Bree got Peter Bell reported - Peter Bell! They squeezed a goal out of the tactic and buggered up the Dockers accuracy in front of goals but did little to help them get back in the contest and an oxymoronic 5 straight points to Fremantle gave Fremantle a 30 point lead at half time.

Collingwood were no where to be seen when the second half was due to get underway. Most people just assumed that they'd chucked it in and gone home but when they finally arrived and play got underway, it seemed like Fremantle were the ones who had gone home. A very lively Collingwood had taken to the field and they were doing all the attacking. Thankfully the powerful Fremantle backline thwarted the brunt of it and kept them to just 3 behinds before the Ben Cunningham juggernaut burst onto the scene.

Still suffering from both the heebies and the jeebies, Paul Medhurst missed a few goals, each easier than the last. Wakelin took the kick in and thought he was indicating to his team mates up the ground that he was going to play on and kick long. Unfortunately he had been given so many pain killing injections in his face that the subtle raise of the eyebrows he thought he was giving was actually the same featureless expression he'd had the entire game and his team mates thought someone had left the tackling mannequin out on the ground. As a result he ran straight into Troy Simmonds and the ball spilled free to Cunningham who snapped a goal.

To rub it in, a quick handpass from Peter Bell had Cunningham taken a few steps to balance before he let fly with one of his trademark 65 metre drop punts and kicked his second in a matter of seconds. Fremantle were 41 points up and Collingwood were gone.

An unlucky chain of events allowed Williams to get free and kick goal to reduce the margin back to 35 but it was worth it to see Fremantle's reply.

Jlo marked the ball and saw his brother one out in the goal square but he was at half back and bugger if he's going to run that far just for Troy to get some glory. So he did the next best thing and handpassed it off to Schammer. Byron went after Troy like a dog after a tennis ball. He put his head down, had a couple of bounces and kicked it long and flat to the goal square. Tlo had Rhyce Shaw and Clive to beat and did it easy. He took the mark, kicked the goal and looked for someone to lay a hug on.

Knowing the game was in the bag and the siren was imminent, Fremantle decided to conserve a bit of energy for next week. It was a timely decision for Collingwood, and a quick kick out of the middle landed in the hands of Anthony Rocca. Rocca managed to kick straight from less than fifty metres out for once and the margin was back to 35 going into the last change.

Now, travel hasn't always been a friend to Fremantle and over the years many of their supporters have developed what psychologists refer to as shot nerves. There are a varying degrees, from the mild Clivexia to the more sever cases of Scottchishomkickingoutitus. When the last quarter got going and Collinwood kicked a point from a set shot a couple of seconds in, those with Scottchishomkickingoutitus started to go into panic attacks. When Burns kicked a goal inside two minutes, those with Fewsterwithaminuteleftinaderbyphobia got the shakes and a goal to Fraser from a suspicious free kick had the Schell Syndrome sufferers going into a sweat. But these are all just malfunctions of the mind and not to be taken seriously by any right minded person. Fremantle were never in any doubt and when Simmonds marked the ball and kicked the steadying goal, it was just what the doctor prescribed. Troy Longmur finished off with another goal and the Dockers cruised in for a 34 point victory.

Scores

Collingwood 2.3 3.4 5.7 7.12 54 Fremantle 3.3 7.10 10.12 12.16 88

Goals

Fremantle   P.Medhurst 3 T.Simmonds 2 B.Cunningham 2 T.Longmuir 2 M.Pavlich 1   J.Longmuir 1   J.Farmer 1                       Collingwood   A.Rocca 2 J.Fraser 1 S.Burns 1 A.Williams 1 B.Holland 1 S.Woewodin 1

Clinto Wolf Medal Votes

Robert Haddrill 3 Luke McPharlin 2 Antoni Grover 1