The Derby Luncheons haven’t even kicked off yet and Fremantle have already delivered one of the most brutal derby insults since the days of the Adam “The Gentleman Sledger” Selwood flicked through his Pedo files and earned himself a couple of punches for his troubles. Fremantle are so confident of the ball not getting anywhere near West Coast’s unusually tall and inaccurate forward line that they’ve dropped their only tall defender, that isn’t Zac Dawson, and thrown in an extra forward in his place. Alex Slivagni will sit the game out, with Fremantle not sure whether to claim an injury, go with the old “rested” cliche or just put ‘up yours’ in brackets next to his name. Matt Taberner is his replacement and, although it will be only his 3rd game for the year, he’s expected to kick three or four goals. The Eagles have wheeled out out man Cox for one last arm flapping derby as well as Patrick McGinnity and dropped a couple of players who’s names really don’t seem worth mentioning.
Ross Lyon has his sights set on the flag this year but he's the sort of bloke who loves to get feedback from the general public, good or bad. So if you really want to be a true supporter of the club, then make sure you shout stuff out to him at the ground and give him some pointers on how to get this coaching caper done. But before you do your duty as a member and hurl advice in the direction of professional coaching staff, make sure you know what you're talking about or they might just right you off as a nutjob and miss out on some choice advice. Work the board, move the magnets around and when you think you've got it sussed, start practising yelling "Hey Ross! Ross! Put Sandilands in the goal square for a rest!"
Lee Spurr |
Zac Dawson |
Paul Duffield |
Mark LeCras |
Jeremy McGovern |
Dean Cox |
Tendai Mzungu |
Garrick Ibbotson |
Stephen Hill |
Jack Darling |
Josh Kennedy |
Sharrod Wellingham |
David Mundy |
Ryan Crowley |
Danyle Pearce |
Chris Masten |
Matt Priddis |
Matt Rosa |
Lachie Neale |
Chris Mayne |
Colin Sylvia |
Shannon Hurn |
Mitchell Brown |
Brad Sheppard |
Hayden Ballantyne |
Matthew Pavlich |
Zac Clarke |
Sam Butler |
Eric Mackenzie |
Will Schofield |
Aaron Sandilands |
Nic Naitanui |
|
Nat Fyfe |
Luke Shuey |
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Nick Suban |
Mark Hutchings |
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Michael Barlow |
Clancee Pearce |
Xavier Ellis |
Matt Taberner |
Cameron Sutcliffe |
Jamie Bennell |
Tommy Sheridan |
Kepler Bradley |
Patrick McGinnity |
Anthony Morabito |
Jacob Brennan |
Andrew Gaff |
Scott Lycett |
Jamie Cripps |
Numbers...you can't trust them. The Romans knew what numbers were up to and wouldn't have a bar of them. You can put your faith in a nice sturdy X but a 10, it's shifty. The only thing more iffy than a number is a statistic, they'll cut you open and rob you of your kidneys before you can say "aren't you supposed to drug me and put in a bath of ice first?". Unfortunately we're hooked on numbers though, we need them to work out how many kicks David Mundy had this week...and probably some other stuff too. The Dockerland Labs spent the summer pondering the problem and eventually, when the cricket was over, the fridge was empty and the clicker broke in everyone's pen, they came up with a solution - the stats cloud. A quick glance and you'll pretty much know everything about a game of football that there was to know, at least all the boring bits about it. The bigger the player's name, the more kicks, or marks, or tackles he had compared to his teammates.Â
The weather was so bad that not even the promise of Matt deBoer selling purple bin liners for just five dollars could lure the Fremantle supporters out of their homes and into the Subiaco water torcher chamber yet the Dockers put on one of the shows of the season. Despite the rain getting so heavy in the first quarter that a family of pelicans were forced to take refuge in Nat Fyfe’s hair, Fremantle kicked one of their highest scores for the season so far; all while keeping Brisbane to the lowest score since anybody could be bothered to go back and check but presumably it involved a jumper with a koala on it. Freo had kept Brisbane to just one lucky point at half time before the entire Dockers backline decided there were better uses for the time and snuck out to see 22 Jump Street. Brisbane still only managed 3 goals in the second half which, based on the conditions, wouldn’t have been such a bad effort, if it hadn’t been for Fremantle kicking a lazy 15 goals and winning by 83 points.